How to Cope When You’re Not Happy to Be Single

Singleness is a part of life for everyone at some point or another.

At one time, you may have found being single to be fun, exciting, and freeing. However, things have changed, and singleness isn’t something you’re enjoying anymore.

It can be extremely frustrating to be stuck in a situation that makes you unhappy. You know there’s a person out there who will be a great partner for you-but you just can’t seem to find them.

Although frustrating, it’s perfectly natural to be unhappy about being single. This is especially true if you feel lonely, hopeless about love, or isolated because all of your friends are in relationships.

Whatever feelings you have, it’s vital to cope with your unhappy feelings about being single. So when the right partner does come, you have a mindset that will allow a healthy relationship to thrive.

Manage Loneliness Proactively

Loneliness can be one of the hardest emotions to overcome. Humans are naturally social beings, so to be without closeness can leave us feeling sad and left out.

Sure, you likely get plenty of socialization every day-at work, through friends and family, or even just the exchange you have with a cashier at a grocery store. But these aren’t incredibly fulfilling exchanges; everyone is living their own life, and you feel isolated within yours.

It’s normal to feel this way, and you have every right to long for a partner to share your life with. However, it’s all too easy to get wrapped up in your loneliness and allow it to consume your life.

It’s essential to make an effort to socialize where you can. Invite your friends for a fun night out. Or, invite a close friend for a nice movie night in. You are loved, and you aren’t alone-your friends and family are the best way to be reminded of that.

It may also be a good idea to create some goals for yourself outside of your love life for example traveling, learning a new language, starting a business or a new hobby that interests you. The point is to make sure you are being intentional about how you spend your time so that you do not feel consumed by singleness.

Journaling and Being single

Let’s be real; dating can feel like a chore at times. While some may enjoy the thrill of meeting new people, it can quickly become monotonous and exhausting if you feel like you aren’t connecting with anyone.

If you’re tired of taking time and energy to go on lackluster dates, you’re certainly not alone. However, to fully put yourself out there, you have to manage negative feelings towards dating and being single. The best way to move past some of the negative dating experiences you may have had is to journal those experiences.

You’ll hear me mention journaling often because it really works. Journaling is a great way to see and feel an experience from a different perspective. Write down bad date experiences using these journal prompts:

  1. What was the worst date you’ve been on and why? (Was it “bad” because you really didn’t like the person were just trying to fill a void?) Looking at what went wrong can be a great way to learn what you like as well as what doesn’t work for you.
  2. What are some positives about being Single?
  3. How can I respond when people ask me “Why are you single?” This question is usually a trigger for single people because the question is intrusive and rude so it helps to think ahead about how to respond to such questions from others?

Dating Detox

If you feel like you are not into dating right now. That’s okay honor your feelings. A dating detox might be a good idea. Try to take a break from dating. What length of time sounds like a good time frame? One month, 3 months or maybe even Six months before you date again could help reframe your view of dating and help

Re-spark a level of excitement for dating.

Practice Patience

You are entirely valid to wonder why it is taking so long to find a lasting relationship. Dating can be exhausting. It’s hard to face disappointment after disappointment when you really desire a relationship.

Nevertheless, you need to work to replace thoughts of “it will never happen for me” to “it will happen, eventually if I keep putting myself out there and dating people who are right for me.”

If you feel as if your loneliness or unhappiness is leading to depression or anxiety, it’s essential to seek out help. A therapist can help you through your feelings and thoughts and help you create a single person’s action plan to help you reframe single life. Being single is a great time to focus on your goals and becoming your best self.

Please reach out to me today if you’re ready to reimagine your future. Click here to schedule a free 20 minute phone consultation.

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